Monday in Rome 20111017

20111017. The last 24hours have been ugly, filled with fear, self doubt and pain. My twisted ankle morphed into a sprain, then a break, then a catastrophe, then an opportunity for self-loathing, followed by some crisis management, back to a sprain, ending with two hours of cappuccinos and people watching in the cafe down the street. I've iced it, elevated it, massaged it, bathed it in the holy grail of marble surround bath tubs so narrow i thought i was going to compound steaming heat with a drowning, and invoked every healing incantation I know (mostly of the fuckfuckfuck variety). The inner dialogue was bad as it gets in spite of the impeccable room service and penguin suits. I had to face the fact that i couldn't walk, and even if my ankle wasn't broken, i'd be limping for at least a week. I'm a tourist. We walk. We look, and we walk some more. If i were at a resort, I'd have no problem forgoing the shuffleboard and lounging on a deck with a faux margarita for the holiday. But this is Italy. You have to walk. A lot. I didn't think Holidays were supposed to be marathons. Ok, maybe for some people, but I'm definitely looking for the easier softer way. I can find someone to pay me for stamina, timeliness and accuracy. I don't need to do that on my time. So i had to see whether I could change my ticket and return home earlier, and while the sane part of me thought it reasonable to make that decision tomorrow, Air Canada had two seats remaining in the next four days that would only cost $90 to change. If I didn't rebook, I risked having to get back for a lot more money and a connection through Heathrow that I knew couldn't manage in my current state. A couple of hours ago, seated in my street side cafe, making fashion critiques to myself of passersby, my ankle finally stopped feeling like it was getting worse. Did I catch a bit of Italian, a bit of a shrug, a it's not so bad sit down and have a cappuccino kind feeling? Maybe. So now I don't know if I'm staying or going, but I am probably in a better frame of mind to make a balanced decision. Tomorrow. After I throw a coin in the Trevi fountain to guarantee my return.